Before I begin, I'd like to quickly clear something up! When I use the term 'do' here, I AM NOT MAKING ANY KIND OF SEXUAL REFERENCE! If you continue reading, that will soon be clear haha.
So, I can't quite believe I've been away at University for just about 3 weeks now! The time has absolutely flown by! I'm stuck right into lectures and tutorials now, and my work load is very heavy! But I'm sure I'll get used to it all soon enough, I can already feel certain routines building their way into my life!
Right before I left home for the adventure we all know as 'fresher's week', I made myself a promise: I'm just gonna 'do' me.
You know how when we impersonate someone or something, people often say you 'do' them really well? Well too often I find it easier to adopt the persona of someone (not a real person, just a mash up of the qualities I admire) instead of going into things as 100% me, and I reckon I'm not alone in that.
It's not a case of lying to people, I don't make up stuff about myself. But maybe I act in a slightly different way, or withhold details about my life or interests that I don't think people will share/approve of.
However, since arriving at uni I've done my very best to be a version of me that is as true to me as I possibly can be, while still allowing myself to try new experiences and things that aren't usually 'me', but may become so now that the opportunity is there. I hope I'm making sense!
For example, I go out and go to pubs/clubs when I want, I study when and in the way I want, I drink when I want, I eat what I want , I watch what I want on TV, and, most importantly, when topics like these and others come up in discussion with the friends and peers I've met since arriving here, I answer honestly, whether it be telling them what time I went to bed, or how much I studied for a class. I'm not claiming I have achieved this state of 'doing' me every minute of every day, but that has been my goal and I believe I have improved at it, particularly since the impression I have given of myself now, is the one which will last for the next four or more years.
The main point I want to get across is that too often we (well, me anyway!) worry extensively about how other people will think of us, and then end up caught in a sort of false situation that we feel pressured to fulfil all the time. When you 'do' yourself from the start, then you meet people who are truly similar to you when it comes to the different aspects of your life and personality. I have a friend who I hang out with when I'm not drinking because most likely she isn't either, I have a friend who sits every Sunday and watches Downtown Abbey with me, and one who is happy to go with me to the library when I want to get a book. I have a friend who's is usually up for going to the pub or club with me, and one who goes to church on a Sunday morning, just like me. And these 'friends' are not always the same person because, like me, all my friends have different elements and sides to their personalities that are more prominent at different times. But if I was to 'do' someone else, I may not find the people who are best at being my friends and, almost certainly, I would be far less happy here than I am.
By all means, I would encourage everyone to try, once in a while 'doing' someone or something a little different or even the complete opposite to the you you know, but please, I urge you to do so only to find qualities which you think could become a part of you, and not to hide away from just being yourself.
Many actors and actresses (one example I can think of is the very lovely Carrie Hope Fletcher) say that they find it far easier to go on stage as a character than to go on as themselves (for example at an awards ceremony or other event), because they have a persona and pre-written story behind which to hide. They're right. But they still do it, don't they? And so can we, it just takes a little bit of courage.
Saturday 26 September 2015
Friday 18 September 2015
Book Review: 'The Opposite of Lonliness' by Marina Keegan
THIS IS A MUST READ FOR EVERY SINGLE PERSON. I could stop there and have made the most important point, but that wouldn't be a very interesting review so here we go...
Months ago, I saw Emma Watson (as I'm sure I've mentioned before, one of my leading idols and girl-crushes haha) post on her Facebook page about how good this book was, so I took a screenshot and didn't think that much about it. Then, recently, I went into Waterstones because I wanted to treat myself, and I showed the picture to the member of staff, who found the book for me.
I hadn't read up on what it was, or what it was about at all. So starting it was a nice surprise. It turned out to be a collection of short stories and non-fiction essays, so I read it in bits over a longer period of time. I don't make a habit of reading non-fiction work that often, with the exception of the odd biography and texts for my studies, so it was a real change.
The book's introduction is written by an ex- professor of Keegan when she studied at Yale University. I don't think there's any real or convincing way for me to convey to you how emotional and thought provoking the book became from that moment forward. Keegan graduated from Yale University, and died in a car crash just 5 days later. Her teachers, friends and family worked to create the book 'The Opposite of Loneliness' which is all the more hard-hitting considering the tragedy: she was a true talent taken far far too young.
The book begins with the essay which shares the title of the collection itself, and the concept is so relatable. I have often dwelt upon that amazing feeling of being a part of something, of feeling like you belong to something, but have never known quite what to call it. 'The Opposite of Loneliness' fits perfectly.
The book continues with some short fiction stories, and then some more essays. Each piece evokes thoughts and emotions which I felt I could mostly understand, partly from my own experience and partly due to her vivid description. Each dealt with an issue associated with being a young student, or reflected upon a political idea or opinion, a source of inspiration I too appreciate.
Perhaps I was just feeling emotional while I read it, or perhaps it was the fact that, for me, unit and all these experiences lay just around the corner, but I really felt like I connected with Keegan's words: an intelligent girl in love with writing and academia, trying be the best version of her, balance a work/social life balance, afford uni, and avoid the groping arms of stress and depression. Towards the end of the book, I even found out that Keegan had, at some point in her University life, studied International Relations (my degree, for those who don't know). It's incredibly cheesy and cliché, but it felt in that moment like the book was written for me- and I reckon it would feel that way to all those who read it!
Despite the sad circumstances in which it came about, 'The Opposite of Loneliness' had the opposite effect on me, it made me feel less lonely, it inspired me to keep writing as much as possible and use my ideas, to work hard and to live life to the absolute fullest because so often its just not long enough, to strive to be a positive influence on others and take risks and enjoy being young. It made me excited for unit and for all the opportunities that lie ahead. It quickly became my favourite read of all time.
Please, if you read just one book this year, make it this one. I highly doubt you'll regret it.
Months ago, I saw Emma Watson (as I'm sure I've mentioned before, one of my leading idols and girl-crushes haha) post on her Facebook page about how good this book was, so I took a screenshot and didn't think that much about it. Then, recently, I went into Waterstones because I wanted to treat myself, and I showed the picture to the member of staff, who found the book for me.
I hadn't read up on what it was, or what it was about at all. So starting it was a nice surprise. It turned out to be a collection of short stories and non-fiction essays, so I read it in bits over a longer period of time. I don't make a habit of reading non-fiction work that often, with the exception of the odd biography and texts for my studies, so it was a real change.The book's introduction is written by an ex- professor of Keegan when she studied at Yale University. I don't think there's any real or convincing way for me to convey to you how emotional and thought provoking the book became from that moment forward. Keegan graduated from Yale University, and died in a car crash just 5 days later. Her teachers, friends and family worked to create the book 'The Opposite of Loneliness' which is all the more hard-hitting considering the tragedy: she was a true talent taken far far too young.
The book begins with the essay which shares the title of the collection itself, and the concept is so relatable. I have often dwelt upon that amazing feeling of being a part of something, of feeling like you belong to something, but have never known quite what to call it. 'The Opposite of Loneliness' fits perfectly.
The book continues with some short fiction stories, and then some more essays. Each piece evokes thoughts and emotions which I felt I could mostly understand, partly from my own experience and partly due to her vivid description. Each dealt with an issue associated with being a young student, or reflected upon a political idea or opinion, a source of inspiration I too appreciate.
Perhaps I was just feeling emotional while I read it, or perhaps it was the fact that, for me, unit and all these experiences lay just around the corner, but I really felt like I connected with Keegan's words: an intelligent girl in love with writing and academia, trying be the best version of her, balance a work/social life balance, afford uni, and avoid the groping arms of stress and depression. Towards the end of the book, I even found out that Keegan had, at some point in her University life, studied International Relations (my degree, for those who don't know). It's incredibly cheesy and cliché, but it felt in that moment like the book was written for me- and I reckon it would feel that way to all those who read it!
Despite the sad circumstances in which it came about, 'The Opposite of Loneliness' had the opposite effect on me, it made me feel less lonely, it inspired me to keep writing as much as possible and use my ideas, to work hard and to live life to the absolute fullest because so often its just not long enough, to strive to be a positive influence on others and take risks and enjoy being young. It made me excited for unit and for all the opportunities that lie ahead. It quickly became my favourite read of all time.
Please, if you read just one book this year, make it this one. I highly doubt you'll regret it.
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