Ok, so if the vomit-worthy title of this post didn't put you off (sorry, I probably could have come up with something better!) then welcome to another episode of me rambling about the weird things I ponder over here on Draft One!
I am the first to admit that my blog posts can be quite sporadic: none for months and then 3 in one day type of situation. It's not that I ever lose my love of reading and writing, but I do go through times when I'm short on time, motivation, inspiration, confidence and just general productivity! So this evening, instead of addressing the fact that I have A LOT of uni work to do, I decided to read back through some of my old blog posts, spanning almost 3 years. Some of these posts have only ever been read by me, others have had one or two views and comments, and others have been surprisingly popular thanks to social media platforms like twitter! But what they all have in common, is that they document a piece of me, what I was thinking and feeling in one moment, and I kind of love that!
Being a lover of writing and a stationary fanatic, I have started a diary/journal at the beginning of almost every year since about the age of 7, because I love the idea of pouring my heart out onto the page, and I also think it's a great way to just keep up writing. Creativity is kind of like a muscle, in need of regular exercise!
But every year, (with the one exception of 2007 when I managed to write a few sentences every single day in my Jaqueline Wilson diary!) I have, at some point between January and April, given up. Maybe I missed a day, or two, or a week, or two, or three and then it just didn't seem worth the effort of catching up anymore.
In fact, the same thing happened with my blog. The year I actually properly started my blog was the third consecutive January of starting it, but it took 3 attempts to fully commit. But when I did, I found that it was the perfect place to log things without the pressure of a daily entry.
Sometimes I wonder why I keep writing here, when I am fully aware that very few people actually read it. I'm not going to get famous by blogging pointless ramblings about my life. And it's not like I make tons of effort to spam my social media with weekly updates and links either. Why not? Lack of confidence plays a part I guess, but I think part of it is that, as much as I love the feeling of knowing people have read and liked a post I've written, there's a part of me that still views it as my place for practicing. For getting down my thoughts and seeing them on the screen as published posts.
The point of this post has got a little bit lost amongst my train of thought (I'm tired, and it's only Monday!) but I suppose what I wanted to say was that re-reading my old blog posts filled me with hope and inspiration, because it was lovely to look back on how I was feeling at the time, challenges I've overcome and dreams I've made come true. And now I want to read and write some more. Even if that resolution is broken by the end of the week, I know that the writer inside of me will live on.
Oh and I imagine a 2017 diary will be started and never finished. We can learn from our mistakes but tradition is tradition, right?
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