Dear Diary...

Ok, so if the vomit-worthy title of this post didn't put you off (sorry, I probably could have come up with something better!) then welcome to another episode of me rambling about the weird things I ponder over here on Draft One!

I am the first to admit that my blog posts can be quite sporadic: none for months and then 3 in one day type of situation. It's not that I ever lose my love of reading and writing, but I do go through times when I'm short on time, motivation, inspiration, confidence and just general productivity! So this evening, instead of addressing the fact that I have A LOT of uni work to do, I decided to read back through some of my old blog posts, spanning almost 3 years. Some of these posts have only ever been read by me, others have had one or two views and comments, and others have been surprisingly popular thanks to social media platforms like twitter! But what they all have in common, is that they document a piece of me, what I was thinking and feeling in one moment, and I kind of love that!

Being a lover of writing and a stationary fanatic, I have started a diary/journal at the beginning of almost every year since about the age of 7, because I love the idea of pouring my heart out onto the page, and I also think it's a great way to just keep up writing. Creativity is kind of like a muscle, in need of regular exercise!

But every year, (with the one exception of 2007 when I managed to write a few sentences every single day in my Jaqueline Wilson diary!) I have, at some point between January and April, given up. Maybe I missed a day, or two, or a week, or two, or three and then it just didn't seem worth the effort of catching up anymore.

In fact, the same thing happened with my blog. The year I actually properly started my blog was the third consecutive January of starting it, but it took 3 attempts to fully commit. But when I did, I found that it was the perfect place to log things without the pressure of a daily entry.

Sometimes I wonder why I keep writing here, when I am fully aware that very few people actually read it. I'm not going to get famous by blogging pointless ramblings about my life. And it's not like I make tons of effort to spam my social media with weekly updates and links either. Why not? Lack of confidence plays a part I guess, but I think part of it is that, as much as I love the feeling of knowing people have read and liked a post I've written, there's a part of me that still views it as my place for practicing. For getting down my thoughts and seeing them on the screen as published posts.

The point of this post has got a little bit lost amongst my train of thought (I'm tired, and it's only Monday!) but I suppose what I wanted to say was that re-reading my old blog posts filled me with hope and inspiration, because it was lovely to look back on how I was feeling at the time, challenges I've overcome and dreams I've made come true. And now I want to read and write some more. Even if that resolution is broken by the end of the week, I know that the writer inside of me will live on.

Oh and I imagine a 2017 diary will be started and never finished. We can learn from our mistakes but tradition is tradition, right?

2016 Book #7 (Review): 'All the Bright Places' by Jennifer Niven

I actually finished this book back in August, but it was the last non-uni course book I read! I am taking a module in Comparative Literature this semester so, as well as all the reading of academic articles I have to do for my other modules, I have a novel a week to get through for that! Maybe I'll do a joint post about them when my exams are all over. But for now, I apologise for the lack of blog posts. I really want to get into reading and writing for fun a lot more, but when you spend every day during the semester reading and writing as an arts student, sometimes coming home to Netflix is preferable for relaxing haha! That said, my literature module has served to reinforce within me my love for books. Like, they smell great too? Ok, I'm going to move on because I sound weird....

Anyway, I downloaded this novel for Kindle in the summer because I'd seen it in the bookshop a lot, and because I became aware of the Zoella Book Club by the Youtuber Zoe Sugg, which was her selection of 8 books to read for the WHSmith scheme over the summer. I had already read half (click on the titles to read my reviews  of 'We Were Liars' , 'Fangirl' , 'Billy and Me' and the book I always say is my favourite book of all time when people ask, 'The Sky is Everywhere' which I read years and years ago before it became popular!) of the books Zoe chose, so I thought it would be nice to work my way through the other 4. However, I never got round to reading the other 3, and now Zoe has brought out a new Autumn book club with 8 more titles! So now I have 11 to catch up on as well as all the other books I'd like to read haha! So I'm not necessarily going to read them all straight away or in the weeks you're supposed to as part of the book club, but it's always nice to get recommendations so I'll add her suggested titles onto my growing list!

'All the Bright Places' was a really great read. In fact, it was probably one of the best books I've read

this year so far. My first impression was a little mixed... the book is quite a hard read in the sense that it deals majorly with depression in young people and suicidal thoughts, and I was a little concerned that this would be quite triggering if I was reading when feeling less positive than usual. However, as the story unfolded I found that, while it was by no means an easy ride emotionally, it was also quite uplifting.

In parts the plot was quite unrealistic. I mean the romantic inside me would really love to believe that the boy who's constantly picked on and the popular girl who's become a recluse could coincidently meet exactly at the moment they both needed it most and be mutually attracted, and maybe it really is possible. I came to accept it because the story took a far more realistic turn, but you can understand why I was initially a little dubious haha?! I mean, if only life worked that way.

However, Niven did an excellent job of painting a picture of teenage emotion and confusion in a very real way.

One thing I really liked was that the leading male character, Finch, was the one mostly depicted as being in a vulnerable mental health position, which I thought made a nice change from the stereotypical young, depressed girl which has worryingly almost become seen as cliché in YA novels. It reminded me of the truth and honesty I felt reading John Green's and David Levithan's 'Will Grayson, Will Grayson' and it too was based on an essentially unrealistic idea. Writers have got to be granted some artistic license in order to get these messages across I think. Otherwise, would we keep reading?

The story also brought up the issue of labelling. In our society, and perhaps even more so among young people, feeling as though we are labelled and must act accordingly is a terrifying reality. In 'All the Bright Places', Finch fears this labelling and it causes him to reject help, which is something I think I can relate to on a very personal level.

I haven't done a brief summary of this book because it's a hard one to summarise. While the story is important, the descriptions of and relationships between characters are even more so. However, I will say that there is a plot twist later on in the novel which causes the reader to learn something shocking about a secondary character who they had probably written off as a stereotype and unimportant to the story as a whole. I found this to be very powerful as it emphasised the idea that you really never know what anyone is going through.

On a lighter note, both of the main characters, Finch and Violet, write and enjoy read and writing immensely. They are creative people with a love for words and reading about young writers will always be inspiring for me because I too adore reading and writing and sometimes need a little motivation to get going with it again.

I really don't want to be the cause of any spoilers because I really hope that at least a few people will read this book on my recommendation, but it's fair to say that the emotional climax of the novel is the ending, and not in a very good way. The romantic inside me once again comes through as I sat at silently screamed at the words in front of me: WHY??!! However, I think the ending probably was necessary as it made the message of Niven's writing even more powerful and hard-hitting and totally avoided pegging this book as a cliché.

Overall, I was gripped. Read this book (armed with tissues!) and I hope that finishing it will have the same effect on you as it did on me: to cause you to look at life and appreciate every moment.

2016 Book #6 (Review): 'Always with Love' by Giovanna Fletcher

'Always with Love' is the sequel to Giovanna's debut novel 'Billy with Me' (you can read my review of that book here) and continues the story of Sophie and her filmstar boyfriend Billy

Buskin.

This will probably be a pretty short "review" because I read this book while on holiday in Ireland at the start of July, straight after finishing 'Dream a Little Dream' (also by Giovanna Fletcher) and so I don't 100% remember my thoughts on it, and I stupidly got so caught up in the read that I didn't take any notes at the time! But I thought it was worth documenting all the same, so here goes ...

While undoubtedly perfect as a chilled out romantic read, many of the flaws I found in the first book continued onto this book, such as the annoying nature of Sophie's jealous character.

In addition, I was a little disappointed by the lack of story, other than the pair travelling back and forward from the US and struggling with being apart and jealous of one another, I didn't find it to have that much of a storyline.

While the ending was a bit predictable, it was exceptionally satisfying and sweet.

To be honest I prefer the other characters in this book to the starring couple! Some of the side stories are quite intriguing.

No my favourite of Giovanna's novel series, if anything the Christmas novella 'Christmas with Billy and Me' was my favourite of the set, but worth a wee read all the same and pretty perfect ass a chilled holiday read.

2016 Book #5 (+ 5.5) (Review): 'Dream a Little Dream' (+ 'Dream a Little Christmas Dream') by Giovanna Fletcher

I know I know, my blog has been abandoned for almost two months which is ridiculous! The thing is, the first 5 weeks of summer were pretty quiet, and then July began and I've bee non-stop busy since then!

I started July with 8 days of relaxed time in one of my favourite places, Donegal, Ireland. My mum, Gran and I stayed at my Uncle's lovely house and I spent most of the time going on walks and reading on my kindle. I decided to take the time to catch on the books of the lovely Giovanna Flecther, as they are pretty easy holiday reads.

I loved how this book was based around a pretty simple idea! Basically,The main character Sarah begins to have dream about a boy she met in her past, and then he shows up in her real life. Each chapter begins with a new dream recounted. As a rule, I usually find these opening parts of chapters, always in italics, kind of boring, but for once I thought it really worked.

As I have found previously with Giovanna's books, sometimes the way things are worded can be almost cringey. I don't really mean this as a criticism, because it is still well written and reflects the type of Young Adult Genre its aimed at, but as someone who enjoiys reading such a wide range of material, these 'girly reads' can come across as quite childish sometimes. What the language did do, however, was give me confidence that one day I really could publish my own novel one day. Giovanna is a won derful writer in terms of her ideas and the characters she creates, but she doesn't need to use lots of complicated words to get her point across, and that has been my writing style in the past too.

Speaking of characters, all the characters in 'Dream a Little Dream' were likeable, and really made you root for them in some way - this makes 'Dream a Little Christmas Dream' even more of a satisfying read, as you get to see how everyone's lives pan out and where they end up. Sarah is part of a cute, and very realistic, we group of friends, which as a young uni student I feel I can identify with.

Actually, I felt I could identify with Sarah in more than one way. She wants to prove herself as a creative talent, and most of all she's looking for love, a relationship, anything romantic really haha. Like me, she's not desperate, she's a strong lass with career goals, but its always nice to feel loved!

Overall, think both books are lovely romatic reads and I was pretty gutted when I finished them!

2016 Book #4 (Review): 'The Secret Life of Bees' by Sue Monk Kidd

So, the great  "new year, new me" ideas of a book a week didn't exactly happen then haha. I honestly can't believe we are now officially over half way through this year and I am only on review number 4, that is shameful,. My current excuse, mostly to myself, is that, at uni, my course is made up of so much reading that throughout the semester I didn't really feel like reading in my down time. And that isn't a lie. However, I am now 6 weeks into my summer break and, yes, I have been working just about full time, but I've also only managed to read one book, so I'm really hoping to increase it, because I really do love to read!

The one book I have managed to read since retuning home is one recommended to me by my parents. It was given to my Dad as a birthday present and both my parents read it so I thought I'd give it a go. This wee review is also going to have to be written in a bit of a hurry, because I am exhausted from my 6am start at work, but want to get this up before I leave for holiday on Thursday!

Brief Summary: Lily is a young, intelligent, curious girl who lives with her abusive father and is cared for by her black nanny, who herself can be very outgoing, even when it puts her in danger. In one eventful day, Lily and her nanny run away from their hard lives and, along their way, meet wonderful people with whom they make very special bonds. But can the pair's new friends help Lily discover the truth about her dead mother's past?

Despite its rather misleading title, this book is not a non-fiction manual about caring for bees. In fact, I think the theme of bee keeping acts as a symbol for passion, love and teamwork throughout this novel.

The book is narrated by Lily, and this is very effective in the 'coming of age' style and target audience;  her young mind, difficult upbringing, innocence and vivid imagination keep the book exciting and lively.

In fact, the characterisation was excellent in general - all of the characters were completely unique and for this reason felt real, as opposed to another version of someone I have read about previously. There were so unlike characters in every other book I've read and that is a difficult thing for an author to achieve.

I also liked how the book was about relationships, but not only romantic love or young love. It was about relationships between people of all ages: gossipy friends, strict father, kind old woman, sister, peer ....

The book was also set in a time of black voting registration in the USA and so, without going on and on, very successfully dealt with the topics of race and racism and integration, which I appreciated.

My one main criticism of this novel would probably be the pace, as I did feel that action moved very slowly and I think this was one of the reasons that it took me so long to get into it, and that it didn't really give me that 'hooked' feeling we crave when we read. However, that said, it is not to say that loads needs to happen for a book to be thought provoking, and this novel proves that.

I was also very slightly disappointed with the ending of this novel. Without disclosing any 'spoilers' I would just say that I don't know what I expected, which meant that I would have accepted any ending, and I suppose it means that it needed more of a spark to it, for me. In other words, the ending was fine, I wasn't annoyed or let-down, I just didn't feel as though any of the tied up pieces of the story were extraordinary either.

Overall, I think it's a really well written book and I'm glad I read it as it is almost definitely not one I would have chosen myself, but enjoyed. My Mum has recorded the film, so I look forward to watching that too!

Film Review: 'Me Before You'

Firstly, I apologise once again for my 2 month blogging break. This was partly due to exams/moving back home from uni/getting back into work routine etc., partly because my tablet was out of action for a while (thankfully has now been replaced with a lovely new one, hurrah for warranties!) and partly because for a while now I've not been satisfied with my blog name, and wanted a chance to rebrand and re-inspire myself (see yesterday's post, 'A Lick of Paint...')

While in the middle of exams, I did watch a fair few films on Netflix, but didn't review them. However, nearly a fortnight ago I finally got to go the cinema for the first time in ages with one of my gorgeous friends and we saw this film, highly anticipated by me since I read it earlier this year (Check out my review here)

I had been trying to make arrangements to see this since it's release, but unfortunately plans fell through until one Wednesday afternoon.

It is very difficult for films to live up to books. There are, in my opinion, a few reason for this, but 2 key ones:

1) They have to miss out lots of things for the screenplay

Despite the chunky size of the book, very little was missed out from the original tale in the film version. This was possibly because author JoJo Moyes also wrote the screenplay.

2) The actors' portrayals of the characters are either unrealistic or just very different from how you imagined them

An all-star cast headed by Emilia Clarke as Lou and Sam Claflin as Will, along with some familiar faces I hadn't expected such as Matthew Lewis (Neville Longbottom in Harry Potter), Jenna Louise Coleman (Clara in Doctor Who) and Brendan Coyle (Mr. Bates in Downton Abbey), honestly couldn't have been more perfect in their roles. Possibly Lewis, in the role of Lou's boyfriend Patrick, was a little different than I pictured, but overall everyone was pretty perfect AND down to earth.

I think the beginning of films often come across as pretty staged, well for me they do. I suppose it's because you're brain needs time to accept the actors as the characters and the story as true. As soon as I relax and settle into a film suddenly it can draw me in.

One thing I must note is the absolutely beautiful soundtrack of this film. Many of the songs were well known but the versions and combination played an absolutely crucial role in swaying the viewers emotions. I don't make a habit of listening to film music on its own but that is one soundtrack I must revisit.

Talking of emotion, this film is a definite tear jerker. I don't tend to cry at films, and in this case I even knew what was coming, how the storyline would unfold. However, even I was welling up, more so than I have for any film in a while, including TFIOS. I wasn't full on balling, but this film did an excellent job at achieving what I reckon was it's goal, making you think. Making you appreciate your life and everyone and everything in it.

Overall, I would thoroughly recommend, I honestly can't wait to get the DVD!

A Lick of Paint ...

... and a whole new name!

As some of you may have noticed, my blog has had something of a rebrand! The design is not totally set in stone, I like it for now but there is definitely room for further personalisation. However, I didn't want my blog out of action for much longer, and my main focus was my new blog name!

I never knew how tough picking a blog name would be! I have been running my blog for two and a half years now and at the time I used a quote I loved. But I've wanted to change it for ages because, let's be real, it was far too long for a blog name.

Last night I finally decided it was time to act on my intentions, so I sat, in a flurry of late night motivation, for ages with a notebook and tried loads of different word combinations. But I kept drawing blanks- everything I liked the sound of was either already the name of a blog, or kind of cheesy! Eventually, I stripped back all the fluffy adjectives and tried to think of what my blog is, what my aim is.

Picking a name and branding your blog is especially difficult without a theme, and although there are some patterns to my blog (positivity posts, book ad film reviews etc.) I am not ready to limit myself to one theme. Many of my friends with blogs have just used their name, but to be honest I don't think may name is catchy enough for that!

When people come across my blog what I want is for them to see an 'aspiring writer', but not think of that term, because I strongly believe that all those who write are writers. I want to stay true to the type of blog I began with when it was headed with my Ernest Hemingway quote, a place where I publish (mostly!) uncorrected thoughts and opinions, an informal practice space for my personal writing.

And so, welcome to 'Draft One', a starting point, a beginning, a journey. One student informally logging life.