Writers' Block

So, during the time I've been regularly blogging (which tomorrow will be exactly 1 and 1/3 years!) I have mentioned on a couple of occasions that one of my reasons for blogging less often, aside from being generally busy, has been lack of motivation or inspiration.

Thankfully, I've fallen in love with my blog again each time this has happened, but, throughout this school year, I've experienced a similar issue in terms of my creative writing folio.

I have always enjoyed writing fiction, but it is one thing to talk about enjoying it and another thing to keep it up. Sometimes, my style of writing comes across as childish or simplistic because it is, but other times it is because that is simply my style, and a lot more thought and craft has gone into it when you dig a little deeper.

As I'm getting the final pieces together for my Advanced Higher English folio, to be submitted at the end of this week, I worry that my writing this year has not exceeded or even met the standard of the writing I produced last year and the year before. I had an idea for a story which I feel I could have developed further but have struggled to do so, both due to lack of motivation to devote the time to doing it, and lack of inspiration on how to develop my writing.

I think it's what people call 'Writers' Block', but in its broadest sense. There is a difference between days when I just can't get the ideas to flow onto the paper and screen, and longer periods of time, such as several months, when I'm just not achieving my full capability.

Hopefully, the work I submit will adequately reflect my ability, although I know it will  not be my best work. As the prospect of finishing exams and school being completely over draws nearer, my love for writing returns and I hope to get cracking and write far more over this summer.

Does anyone else experience or have thoughts on writers' block? Is it all in our heads? Let me know in the comments!

Catriona xx

Uni Choice Freak-Out

I'm in my final year at school. And I have two school weeks left. Ever.

That fact has kinda been scaring me recently. It's getting to the stage where I'm almost ready to leave school, but still not knowing what I will be doing with my life in 6 months time is quite daunting.

I now have all my replies from the University courses I applied for. I have been accepted to study International Relations in both Edinburgh and St. Andrews, but have been rejected from studying English in each of those places. Thankfully,. I had my heart set on IR from the start, but it's never nice to be rejected, especially when you're unsure of what more you could have done!

What this leaves is a very exciting decision: 2 fab Unis. But I can only attend 1!

There are pros and cons of both which I won't detail just now, but I keep swinging between the two as a result! I'm going to visit each place again in the next couple of weeks and have resolved to make my decision after that. Once the decision is made, I know that what I need to do is completely forget the other option and put my all into getting the most out of what I decide.

Last year, I wrote a post called Positive Dilemmas about how the decisions which are the hardest to make are those that include equally awesome options. Occasionally, these sorts of decisions lead me to mini freak-out mode. Then I feel guilty about getting worked up because I know that there are so many people who would be over the moon with unconditional offers to just one top Scottish Uni, far less 2!

I know that I'm an exceptionally lucky girl, and so my stressing is honestly not meant to be spoilt sounding! I think its just that sometimes something a big as moving away from home and beginning to study something totally new with totally different people is a little overwhelming! Exciting, yes! But a little overwhelming, in the best way possible.

I'll keep the blog updated on my decision, but I think sometimes I need to just take a step back from my initial panic and come up with a plan. as my mum has told me, I can't really make a wrong decision. Either way, the unknown is seeming so close now... :)

Please feel free to leave comments, would love to hear about your mini freak-outs and your positive dilemmas!

Catriona x